Existential Crisis in the Land of Age

 

Gargoyle study. Tlaxcala, Mexico. February 2009. Credit: Mzuriana. 

I think I'm in the midst of an existential crisis.

For those of us with a "later-life crisis," it's not so different from the clichéd midlife crisis. 

Some definitions

In Coping With a Later-Life Crisis (Johns Hopkins Medicine) it is ... 

a time when adults contemplate their mortality and the waning years they have left to enjoy life

From Coping With an Existential Crisis, Psychology Today: 

Such a struggle usually involves the loss or wavering of meaning and purpose in life. There might also be a sense of personal insignificance or aloneness in the world. 

In Later Life Crisis: Towards a Holistic Model, the authors note the work of Peter Marris, quoting an excerpt from his work, in which he stated that, precedent to a "Third Age" crisis: 

Often, critical experiences cluster together; illness provokes retirement, retirement provokes a move, the move puts family and old friends at a distance, and in the midst of all this someone dear to us dies. But there may be twenty years of life ahead, or more, and if people are to enjoy a meaningful old age, they have to work through these crises. 

For me, the cluster looks like this, going back to 2016:

• Draconian policies at our borders when people fled conditions in Central America
• Election of Trump, and his subsequent regime, which invited our most malevolent selves from out of the shadows
• Police killings of Black Americans
• Deeply traumatic experiences with members of my family of origin
• Life crises in my adult daughter's family
• COVID and all of its direct and indirect effects, not the least of which has been the amputation of social activities that give me joy, such as dancing
• My mother's death
• The alarming new wave of systemic racism and misogyny in the banning of critical race theory, reproductive rights, freedom of speech and action in our sexual/gender identification
• Invasion of Ukraine
• And, not to be left out: the usual suspects that lurk in the Land of Age

Things to do during an existential crisis

Fortunately (uh, I guess), I can draw on my experience of past existential crises. My responses have typically followed this chronology: 

1. Suffer.
2. Wonder what is happening to me, and why.
3. Decide to take action that will stop the suffering.
4. Gather wisdom from both objective (scientific research) and subjective (other folks' personal experiences) sources. 
5. Read books that offer paths out of the dark forest. 
6. Act on what I learn. 

I am following that same process today. 

What do we want people to say about us when we die? 

This question is intrinsic to a Third Age existential crisis. 

Stephen Covey, in his book, Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, proposed that we ask ourselves this question. And then let our answer guide how we lead our lives henceforth. 

I would add a more basic question: Will people say anything about you when you die? 

What do I want my obituary to say? 

I am in the midst of an existential crisis. 

Your story isn't over. Mobile, Alabama. January 2022. Credit: Mzuriana.